You wish to speak with the CEO?
He is, at present, reviewing this development with the level of enthusiasm it deserves.
Nevertheless, the form exists. Use it wisely.
Before you proceed.
All enquiries submitted through this office are received, logged, and assessed by PAM CEO's internal review committee full of pricks before being fed to the relevant department stuffed with minipigs.
Response times are subject to the following conditions:
Orders & Presale Enquiries: Reviewed with moderate urgency, as the CEO has a personal interest in the vault filling on schedule.
Press & Media: Reviewed with cautious interest. Identification will be required. Not really. But he's watching.
Partnership & Affiliates: Reviewed with the healthy skepticism of a man who has seen exactly how these arrangements tend to end.
Legal Correspondence: Forwarded immediately to the appropriate counsel, who will respond in the appropriate way, on an appropriate timeline, having reviewed all appropriate documentation.
General Complaints: Noted. Filed. Appreciated in the sense that all feedback helps the tower grow taller.
Everything Else: The CEO asks that you consider whether your enquiry is truly necessary. He will ask this regardless of your answer.
Submit Your Petition
Pricks & Minipigs™ takes all enquiries seriously. Even the ones that don't deserve it.
Response times vary. We are not legally obligated to respond to unsolicited legal threats, creative pitches that begin with "hear me out," or any message containing the phrase "quick question" that is followed by a question that is not quick.
For order-related issues: please review the Delivery & Shipping and Returns pages before submitting. Many questions answer themselves with sufficient patience.
This contact form is operated by PRICKS & MINIPIGS LLC. Information submitted is subject to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. PAM CEO is a fictional character. Any resemblance to actual CEOs, living or incorporated, is entirely the point.
